Feeling a little better....

My father's obituary was in the paper today. I feel better now that some of the business parts of his passing are finishing up. It has been an emotional roller coaster. I took my children to a local town fair last night just to get away and have a little down-time. It was nice to forget and not hear the phone ring for a few hours. I think taking care of business has kept me from feeling extreme sadness. It keeps me busy thinking about the tasks at hand and making sure my father has a dignified end. I am not sure what lies ahead for me when I am all done taking care of his affairs. I look forward to a leave of absence from courses to get my life reorganized. I hope you all have a great summer!

A long road.....

My father passed away in his sleep on June 10th around 3:00 pm. My aunt pointed out that I was due June 10th and I was born at 3:00 pm. She thought it was a cosmic sign about how important I was in his life. I thought the hardest part would be losing him, however the aftermath of taking care of his end-of-life issues have been very difficult as well. The hospital my father were my father was staying appointed a payee for his bills. When he passed away he did not have a will or life insurance. The only way to take care of his funeral expenses was through the cash account he had in savings. The payee would not release his funds to the funeral home because she was still paying his other bills, such as rent and power even though he was deceased. I have since found that this was illegal and she had no right to continue to pay bills after he passed away. Even though I am the only next of Kin and was able to make end-of-life choices for him, I still have to file in probate court just to access his savings for his funeral expenses. It has been discovered that the payee was and maybe still is stealing from his account. I have to wait 30 days after his death before filing with probate court. In that time, this payee can continue to deplete his account. The funeral home he was at originally, told me that my father was beginning to "smell" on ice and that they were not going to send him for cremation until they knew how his account was being paid. They said to give them a call during the weekend if I could " come up with" some more money. I was frantic knowing that my father had almost enough in his account to pay for his funeral, and the thought of him sitting there over the weekend was very emotional for me. I contacted another funeral home in my city and they moved him without any issue. I am so grateful for the kindness of the new funeral home. Needless to say, this has been a nightmare. This has shown me that my husband and I need to make sure everything is set up for our deaths so that our children never have to go through this.

Depressed state-of-mind.......

This week's depression cooking took a backseat to more pressing matters. My father was admitted to a nursing home with terminal cancer. He did not tell anyone in the family that he was sick. It came as a complete shock the whole family. He is on a pain management program at the nursing home, but that is all they can do. He was given a few weeks, then a few days and now it seems we are at hours. I have been serving more convenience foods because my life is so hectic right now. I am taking my life hour-by-hour also. Every time I hear the phone ring, My heart sinks. My grandmother passed away in 2005 from cancer. I considered her my mother. Luckily, I did not have to do any of the end-of-life tasks because she had 4 children. I am my father's only child. It has been very difficult to discuss funeral arrangements and obituaries. His sister ( My aunt) has been a wonderful support for me and him through this horrible time. My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a parent.

Using the seasons to my advantage

One of the ways people survived during the depression was to have their own gardens. Every year our gardening skills improve. Last year proved especially difficult due to the massive amounts of rain and blight that was so widespread throughout the state. This week we found our first pumpkin blossom of the season! Our peas, onions, carrots and potatoes seem to be taking off as well. The one disappointment so far is our lettuce. In years past, it seemed lettuce was all that would grow! I love the fact that my children will stop to pick peas fresh off the plants for a quick snack while playing. I have high hopes that our garden will yield enough food to make a dent in our grocery expenses. Another benefit to eating healthy, organic, home-grown produce is less medical expenses!